Going the Distance

With just about 5 weeks left until graduation, we’re all beginning to think about what it will be like not seeing the faces we have gotten so used to anymore. It’s so potentially depressing. We’ve gotten to know and actually like people, and now life and its annoying full-of-change-ness wants to place us miles apart from each other. It sucks but it needs to be accepted. Yes, the 2nd years will graduate (not a bad thing. Do you want them to not graduate?) And the first years will still have one year at ALA. It can’t be stopped unless you have invented some time pausing remote. The more feasible thing to do is plan how you’re going to keep your relationships alive over longer distances. It’s not easy but nothing worth anything is, so here are some tips to help with keeping in touch.

1. Send updates. You don’t have to wait till something huge happens in your life to tell your friends about it. Don’t make them have to find out from your profile picture that you dyed your hair green. Quick little texts or emails are nice. Your friend will feel included in your life and will be more likely to keep you in the loop of their lives as well

2. Know what your friend’s days look like. If you and your friend know when you’re both free and awake (time differences, people. Acknowledge them!) then keeping in touch will be much easier. Knowing just how busy your friend is also helps you judge whether or not calling them at a certain time could lead to you talking to a very agitated, grumpy person or not. Agreeing to sit down and catch up at least once every month, week or even day (if you must) could also be helpful so when you miss your friend, you always have that time to look forward to.

3. Do not get mad. Don’t get emotional. If your friend doesn’t call you when they said they would, or cuts a conversation short, or replies you every 2 days, try not to take it personally. As amazing as you are,and as much as they love you, none of your friends are just sitting on shelves waiting for you to call. They have things they are doing. Avoid attacking them and telling them they’ve forgotten you. It will just upset them and make things weird. Instead, just be there for them when they can and do want to talk. Don’t spend the conversations you do have being angry at them for not being available 24/7.

4. Something that will really help with number 3 is this: live your own life. Wherever your friend is, you are somewhere too and don’t let that place pass you by. Enjoy being around the people who are nearby and doing things where you are. Be happy and don’t become dependent on a message to make your day good. Friendships that are meant to last will last. No matter what you do, the outcome is the same (#obscure literature class reference.)

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